FAMILY

HAS BEEN ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY AT 82 DEGREES AND SUNNY. ONLY DRAWBACK WAS THE WINDS AROUND 20 MPH. I GOT UP LATE AS USUAL AND DIDN'T ACCOMPLISH MUCH. AFRAID THIS IS GETTING TO BE THE NORM. LAST YEAR I WAS MUCH MORE ACTIVE DOING EXERCISES AT HOME AND SWIMMING A MILE A DAY AT THE POOL. JUST CAN'T GET IN THE GROOVE THIS YEAR.

BEEN THINKING ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD A LOT TODAY AND REALIZED HOW LITTLE I REMEMBER ABOUT MY OLDER BROTHER. I DO REMEMBER I WAS USUALLY ON THE SHORT END OF ANY FIGHT OR ARGUMENT WE GOT INTO. ONE TIME HE HAD A ROPE AROUND MY NECK AND WAS GOING TO HAVE ME JUMP OUT OF THE APPLE TREE IN OUR BACK YARD. I WAS BEING PUNISHED BECAUSE I WAS A BAD INDIAN. MOM HAPPENED TO COME OUT ON THE BACK PORCH JUST IN TIME TO STOP OUR LITTLE STUNT. RAYMOND WAS THREE YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND WAS THE FAVORITE OF MY DAD. RAYMOND LIKED TO WORK ON HIS BICYCLE, AND DAD BEING A MECHANIC, WOULD WORK WITH HIM. I NEVER CARED FOR ANYTHING MECHANICAL. I THINK RAYMOND ALSO WENT RABBIT AND SQUIRREL HUNTING WITH HIM. NOT ME. I DIDN'T LIKE THE NOISE OF A GUN GOING OFF BUT MOST OF ALL I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE A WARM BED AT 5:00 AM. MOM USED TO COVER THEM WITH MILK AND PROBABLY SOME OTHER THINGS THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER AND BAKE THEM IN THE OVEN OF OUR BIG COOK STOVE. I WOULD FEED THE FIREWOOD OR COAL INTO THE STOVE. I CAN STILL SMELL THE MEAT BAKING. WE HAD A GOOD THICK GRAVY IN THE PAN AND WE POURED IT OVER JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING WE HAD ON OUR PLATES. WE HAD THE USUAL SATURDAY NIGHT BATH IN A BIG WASH TUB IN THE KITCHEN BY THE WARM STOVE IN THE WINTERS. WE BEHAVED PRETTY GOOD IN THE WINTER BUT HAD WATER FIGHTS IN THE SUMMER. I DON'T REALLY HAVE A LOT OF MEMORIES OF MY BROTHER, BUT I DO REMEMBER ONE DAY WHEN HE TOOK ME TO SCHOOL ON HIS BICYCLE AFTER LUNCH. I RODE SIDEWAYS IN FRONT OF HIM AND I COULD HEAR HIS BREATHING AS HE PEDDLED. WE WOULD BE TOUCHING EACH OTHERS BODY AT TIMES AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I FELT VERY CLOSE TO HIM. I DIDN'T THINK OF THE BAD DAYS WE HAD HAD IN THE PAST, BUT I WAS VERY PROUD OF MY BIG BROTHER AND WANTED EVERYONE IN THE SCHOOL YARD TO SEE HIM. IT WASN'T LONG AFTER THAT, THAT HE CAME DOWN WITH LEUKEMIA. WE LIVED IN A SMALL TOWN, AND THIS WAS IN THE EARLY 40'S BEFORE SMALL TOWN DOCTORS KNEW HOW TO DIAGNOSE IT. OUR DOCTOR WAS TREATING HIM FOR STREP THROAT. WHEN HE CONTINUED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND GET VERY SICK, OUT DOCTOR HAD MY PARENTS TAKE HIM TO THE BIG CITY WHERE THEY FOUND OUT THE BAD NEWS. HE COULDN'T BE HELPED AS THE DISEASE HAD PROGRESSED TOO FAR FOR TREATMENT. IT WAS CENTERED IN THE GLANDS ON BOTH SIDES OF HIS NECK SLOWLY TAKING HIS ABILITY TO SWALLOW FOOD AND SOME DAYS EVEN WATER. I REMEMBER DURING HIS LAST DAYS, MOM DIDN'T DO ANY COOKING AFRAID HE WOULD SMELL IT. WE ATE ON THE BACK PORCH WITH THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED. THAN ONE NIGHT, GRANDMA CAME TO MY BED ASKING ME TO GO TO THE LIVING ROOM TO SAY GOODBYE TO RAYMOND. HE HAD PASSED AWAY ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH. EVERYONE WAS CRYING VERY HARD BUT I DIDN'T SHED A TEAR. MORE ABOUT THAT LATER. RAYMOND AND I WERE LIKE NIGHT AND DAY. HE WAS TALL FOR HIS AGE, 12 YEARS, HAD ALMOST WHITE HAIR AND WE CALLED HIM COTTON HEAD. HE WAS FULL OF ENERGY. I WAS THE QUIET ONE, AND HAVE REMAINED THAT WAY TILL THIS DAY. I WAS 9 WHEN RAYMOND PASSED ON AND SO MANY TIMES I WONDER WHAT MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IF HE COULD HAVE BEEN MY BIG BROTHER AS WE PROGRESSED THROUGH LIFE TOGETHER.